9 days out

I never realized what a mental trip competing was. Emotionally, and mentally I feel like such a mess the last few weeks. I’m not normally an emotional girl but I’ve been all over the place lately, and let me tell you my husband loves it *sarcasm* The poor guy has got the worst of it for sure. Now that I’m coming into the home stretch I’m excited, nervous, tired and just ready to be done.  The littlest things lately seem to exhaust me. My body is done. The part that’s hardest for me is looking in the mirror and comparing myself to other women. I had this ideal in my head what I would look like and what I’m coming into the show with isn’t what I thought it would be. I feel like I’ve lost any definition I had. I’m smaller, but with no noticeable definition which is frustrating at 12% bodyfat I thought I’d at least have the beginning of a 4 pack. I know girls that have barely prepped, ate crap and barely worked out and look amazing. While I’m over here working out 2-3 hours a day 6 days a week and barely seeing progress. Here’s to hoping peak week and water depletion does wonders for me! Keep me in your prayers I feel like I’m going to need it this week!

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“Sweet” dreams

Let me tell you after 6 1/2 weeks on a competition diet I will never take food for granted again. I’m loving the process, and how much progress my body is making but boy could I really go for a nice donut, or a dairy queen blizzard right now. They’ve even made a few guest appearances in my dreams lately. Heck I would be thrilled with just eating a quest bar, or peanut butter and rice cakes right now. I have found a few favorite things even while one contest prep though: 1st item being Cellucor protein. Yummm! I went a little crazy picked up the smores, chocolate chip mint and red velvet cake batter flavors. All are good but the red velvet may be a little too sweet. I definitely recommend the other two though if you’re in the market for a good protein. I’ve also been living off of trident layers, and the dessert delights gum. It’s the little things along the way that keep you sane!

Only 5 1/2 weeks out. It’s starting to get real!

Living through others

I’ve been living vicariously through my loved ones the last few weeks. Instead of helping the hubby lose weight I may be fattening him up. I like his just the way he is, and feeding him treats is so fun, especially when I get to stare at him as he eats. Anyone else?  Anyone? I made him mint chocolate chip cookie brownies w/York Peppermint Pattie pieces this weekend. He loved me more than normal after that. Not eating the batter as I was making them was definitely a hard battle, but I overcame!!

Don’t be afraid of your fears…

I have my first posing class tomorrow and let me tell you- I’m terrified . You’d think getting this close to the competition that standing in a class full of people in a sports bra and shorts wouldn’t be a big deal, in 7 weeks I have to get up on stage in front of a lot bigger audience but I just keep thinking what if they look at me and think “wow what does she think she’s doing? She needs a lot more than 7 weeks to be competition ready!” These are people in amazing shape, who I respect and want to emulate…

I’m definitely not the most graceful girl, so this should be interesting. Project bikini competition continues! I’ll let all you out there in blog world know how it goes 😉

“Don’t be afraid of your fears. They’re not there to scare you. They’re there to let you know that something is worth it.”
― C. JoyBell C.

Fit kid problems

I feel healtheir than I’ve ever felt, have very few cravings for junk food anymore butttt I’Ive found myself picking up a few weird habits while on my contest prep diet. To name a few:

1. I chew obscene amounts of gum, and get overly excited whenever I find a new flavor (sourpatch kids gum?!? amazing! Lemon square to die for!) I may or may not have at least 5 different flavors in my purse at all times.

2. My sense of smell has tripled. I can suddenly tell you which aisle the marshmallows are in while half way across Walmart.

3. I lick the bottom of containers… any container… and I must finish evvvveerrry morsel of food. Sweet potatos? yep licked the container. Chicken? oh yeah. Avocado that I had finished and then it fell on the floor? 5 seconds rule!… licked it. 

4. Picking out flavors of protein has become so much more difficult because I know that it’s the only variation in my diet. So it takes me 5 days of back and forth to decide on just the perfect flavor. Who can really choose from pound cake or chocolate chip cookie dough anyway?

Its the little things…

I had an moment of pure joy today. PURE joy! My coach gave me permission to eat a Jolly Rancher after lifting instead of chugging honey (let me tell you that gets old really fast!) I love Jolly Ranchers and I can eat them with no cheating on my prep diet ! Right now that’s the equivalent of being told I just won $500 on a lotto ticket I didn’t even buy! Especially after not having candy or sweets for 23 days! It’s the little things in life… 60 days to go!

Day 2

I made it through day 2 of my contest prep diet and I only gagged a few times on the protein oatmeal in the morning and 1% cottage cheese in the evening. Who knew there’s such a big diffrence between 1% and 2%. 61 days to go. I may be weird though because im actually enjoying most of this process. Eating the same 5 foods all day, everyday makes for a lot less planning and cooking (other than prepping separate meals for hubby)! I think I could get used to this!

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I attended my first bodybuilding show today, as a spectator. I cant even describe what it felt like to be there and to know the dedication each of those athletes put in to get where they were. Being there felt like coming home and reaffirmed my dedication to compete in June.

In my everyday world my friends eat like crap, most don’t work out and some even question my dedication, but in this world these people understand me. These are the brothers and sisters of my passion and I cant wait until the day I join them up there. Just 63 more days until I stand on stage at the Columbia Classic. I’ve already decided next year I will be competing in Emerald Cup, I just need to get a smaller show under my belt and some more time with my coach to present my best.

Thanks for the thrill Emerald cup I’ll see you again next year, this time from a different view: as a competitor.

The price of success

A Eulogy to Peanut Butter



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Today it is with a sad heart that I say goodbye to peanut butter and quest bars for the next 9 weeks. They’ve been my saving grace the last few weeks with no sugar, but to be honest I know I dont need them. My body feels better and stronger than It’s ever felt, and I realize now that I dont need those diet cruches that I’ve always relied on. I’ll be starting my contest diet tomorrow, 9 weeks out from my competition. My coach has put me on a pretty plain diet since we’re starting so close to show time, but the desire to succeed is greater than any longing for food that I could have. I will however be giving myself a little variety in the form of different flavors of protein powder, sugarless gum and flavored egg whites (muscle egg brand.) So today as I consume my last cookie dough quest bar, and relish in my peanut butter on rice cakes I’ll be looking forward to this new adventure and to creating an even stronger me, both mentally and physically.